Ryan and I got married in 2011. Ryan had a wonderful son from a previous relationship who was five at the time.
We wanted to wait to have a baby until our new family was more stable and finances were better.
I had always had cramping and irregular, heavy periods so went to my OB/GYN for answers about that. I was diagnosed with endometriosis in 2009 and had surgery to get some of it removed.
This stuck in the back of my mind after my marriage but I figured I was still young (26) so there wasn't much to worry about.
In 2013, we decided to officially start trying to get pregnant. We didn't do anything special, just waited to see.
My periods were irregular, though, so I went through literally hundreds of pregnancy tests, and never saw that double blue line. My OB/GYN prescribed Clomid for 3 months in June of 2013 (because of my history with endo). I never ovulated.
In January, 2014 my OB/GYN referred me to Dr. Alison Zimon.
The first appointment, I met her nurse, Karen - and burst into tears. It was really hard to think I couldn't get pregnant on my own. I felt terrible. Like I wasn't a woman.
I was embarrassed and I felt awful for my husband, who had had a child so easily before he was married to me. Karen gave me Kleenex and a hug and told me it would be OK. She really put me at ease.
Dr. Zimon was the same way. She was wonderful. She agreed to skip IUD's since I had had trouble ovulating with Clomid and we went right to IVF.
It took me 6 months to get my baseline blood work because my hormones were so out of control and my cycles were so irregular.
I finally got my baseline blood work completed and we started prepping for our fresh cycle. I was so excited and optimistic.
In October, 2014 I started injections. I was terrified to give myself a shot, but let me tell you, I got over that quickly. My ovaries were so bloated and I felt like a beached whale but I kept the optimism going, knowing that this was my only chance for a baby.
In late October, I had my retrieval and the doctor managed to get 5 good embryos. Three days later, I went for implantation. Then....the two week wait.
It was terrible. I swore I wouldn't get a home pregnancy test and I didn't. The day came for my blood work and Karen called with my results.
Anything over 25 was pregnant. I was 29. I was pregnant. But, Karen warned me, my numbers were low. I'd have to get re-tested in two days. The next check, my numbers were still low but had risen enough that it seemed to be a good sign. I told everyone. I told my parents, my siblings, coworkers, friends etc. I was ecstatic.
Two weeks later, I was feeling off. It was a Sunday and my husband was bringing my stepson home. I went to the bathroom and saw blood in my underwear. I immediately called Karen who told me to go get blood the next morning.
I remember my husband was home from work with me when we got the call. My HCG levels weren't high enough. It was not a viable pregnancy. I was devastated.
All of my hard work and sticking myself with needles and bloating was for nothing. I felt as though a piece of me had died. Even sitting here writing this, I still get sad for that loss.
I told my husband that day that I was done. I wasn't doing it again.
Two weeks later we went to see Dr. Zimon. Of course, I cried as we discussed my miscarriage. She urged me to try again using one of the frozen embryos we had. I agreed that I would try one more time, but that was it.
On January 19, 2015 we went for a frozen embryo implant. The prep was so easy! No shots, no bloating. It was a breeze. Then another two week wait.
On the day of my blood test we got hit with 3 feet of snow. The labs, naturally, were closed. I had one home pregnancy test left, so i figured "what the heck." I waited my five minutes, looked down and burst into tears. There they were. Two, bold blue lines. I was pregnant.
When I finally got my blood work done, my HCG levels were so high, we thought it could be twins (one embryo split after implantation). 41 weeks later, and I gave birth to the most amazing baby, Quinten.
My husband and I joke that he's so advanced (in many ways) because he was frozen for 3 months.
Did anyone/anything else help you through your infertility journey?
The nurses at Boston IVF were outstanding.
I also found some groups on Facebook that were small and local. The women there were outstanding. I also told everyone what we were doing. I was never shy about telling my story. As hard as it was to tell people that I had miscarried, I had all of their support.
I was never alone and when we were finally pregnant, everyone we knew realized how amazing it was!
What were some highs or lows of your treatment(s)? What is unique/different about your story?
It didn't take me years, but the two years it did take were full of ups and downs. I felt like it was a constant struggle for anything to go right.
I think the miscarriage really was the worst of the "lows". I had never been pregnant before and suddenly it was happening - and then a few weeks later it was torn right away from me.
I just want people to know that I recognize that it is nearly impossible to move on from that.
I did set a limit: that this was going to be my last try, because that's what I needed to do to keep myself sane.
But you need to do what's right for you and your family.
What advice do you have for other struggling with infertility?
Reach out to people.
A lot of people have been there, and some you may not even know about.
Be gentle on yourself. It's stressful and awful and crazy and wonderful all at once.
Be kind to your partner. I found myself snapping at my husband a lot, but what I didn't realize was that it was just as hard for him to go through.
Tell us about your experience with boston ivf
AMAZING! I can't say enough good things about them.